What’s your vibration?

                                  
Energies, vibrations, they are all around us, it’s what makes us and everything around us, it dictates how our day will go and what we will do. Sentience is the ability to make sound judgments from feelings, or perceived energy and I for one am highly subseptable to the energies that people radiate, I will admit to making a lot of my rationalities by way of this process. 

This energy or intuition is certainly heightened while I am traveling, especially since I am by myself. I rely on it to get by and use it in order to decide who to trust or what actions to take. A recent example of this is while in Cuba at Playa Alecon, I was looking for the bus stop to get back to the city of Trinidad, I happened upon a guy who when I asked where the bus to Trinidad stopped at he instead told me that he was heading there and that he it would be his pleasure to drive me home. We chatted for a few minutes and I felt a good vibe from him so I decided to go with him. 

I know, I can already hear some of my friends yelling at me (because they have, this isn’t the first time I’ve done something similar) but had I not trusted my own intuition I would not have had the pleasure of meeting this intriguing guy and enjoyed conversing with him about growing up in Cuba and later that night enjoying a delicious meal with him at a restaurant that was not in the tourist area. 

I strongly believe that a majority of people are good and have positive intentions but at times they just become self indulgent and do not realize how their actions or inactions can negatively influence others. 

So trust your instincts, feel the energy around you and don’t let fear be the deciding factor in what you do or do not do! So now the question is, what’s your vibration? 

Got Happiness?

I have a confession, this is hard to admit but I feel that I need to release this. I at times suffer from self-doubt and insecurity. I do my best to hide this, to put on a smile everyday and say inspiring things to those that I care about. I do not like to admit that I have these feelings and do whatever I can to hide them from everyone. There have been times that these thoughts have crept into my head and have caused me to not act, to stick within my comfort zone and to distrust my own capabilities.

Why?

I don’t know, I can’t fully explain it, is it due to situations that happened while growing up, maybe. Is it this insatiable need for perfection, that is a possibility too.

Another issue that rattles through my mind is the consistent pull of obligation, that overwhelming feeling of guilt, so often we are taught to be mindful of others that we lose sight of the fact that we must be mindful of ourselves. It is impossible to make others happy on a deep and emotionally significant level, if we ourselves are not happy within. So why is it that so often we feel that another’s happiness is held to a superior level than our own?

 I have come to realize that so many of us have these thoughts that act as little demons on our shoulders, they creep into our minds at the most inconvenient times and cause us to doubt everything about ourselves, what we are doing, saying and thinking, yet we will never admit that we go through this.

But why hide from these feelings and insecurities , why not share these experiences with others so that we can assist each other in muffling out these demobilizing thoughts and see the great amazing souls that we truly are?

Can we ever genuinely be our own true authentic selves if we do not embrace the battles that we fight within? Coming face to face with those demons and letting them know that they no longer have a home within us and being able to share this journey with others that understand and can relate is such a freeing and euphoric feeling.

So here I am, admitting it, not being embarrassed by it and teaching myself that my wellbeing, needs and emotions are just as important as the next person, even those that I love and cherish. Exposing my vulnerability and allowing others to express themselves and to choose positivity from within is the mission. Got happiness? Yes, I am on my way there and I hope that you are as well.  

YOLO….just kidding!

YOLO….You only live once, this is a quote that we hear constantly now, it’s like the mantra of the millennials, but do we really only have “one life”? This is a topic that has been weighing on my mind a lot recently, I was in a conversation with some friends, both younger than me, and something came up where we brought up what we were doing ten years ago. Ten years ago was when I was going through my separation from my ex husband and I had just begun working part time at the place of my current employment.

I mentioned about where I myself was at that moment in time to them and my friend said, “You’ve already lived two lives”. I just looked at her and I did not say anything, for some reason this comment sat with me for quite a few days. I kept replaying it in my head, I mean have I basically lived two lives? It really made me start to contemplate this ideology. I wasn’t the same person that I was 10 years prior, and my life is completely different now. I have almost all new friends, a different job and live in an entirely new state, but did that mean that I was living an entirely new life? Was I really a completely new person with no glimpse of the old me in there? There are moments that I think about me, 10 years prior, and I’d love to shake her and ask what in the world was she thinking?!?!

At the same time there are moments that I’d love to hug her, hold her and tell her that everything is going to be fine and it will all turn into so much more than what it is now. Had that meek, quiet, trusting young woman not gone through all the trials, tribulations, hurt and rebuilding would I still be the strong, independent, adventurous, quirky woman that I am now?

 Maybe I needed to go through this rebirth of sorts to become the me that I am now, the person that loves to explore the world and is not scared to just put herself out there, and now even more so than ever. This person that I thought of had never even traveled solo at that point, I don’t even think that I can bring myself to having that sort of mentality ever again, but at the same time that young woman was very trusting and had a hard time believing that people could ever hurt her and that trusting person, I still see glimpses of her. I still feel that tinge of believing that you can trust in other people and that vulnerable urge to allow myself to, that part of her I hold on to and hope to never lose.

Have I lived another life, quite possibly, or maybe I have just evolved, grown and pushed myself to create a better version of the me that was always there before? I still have her memories and wants and needs, they are just clearer now, and I am more in tune with making sure that they are met.

The funny thing will be looking back now in another 10 years and I wonder if I will feel as though I am on my third life, or will I have the mentality of the one life that has just been continuously evolving and growing through the years? I am uncertain now but will only just continue to keep striving to live my best life, until next time: YOLO…maybe 😊