YOLO….You only live once, this is a quote that we hear
constantly now, it’s like the mantra of the millennials, but do we really only
have “one life”? This is a topic that has been weighing on my mind a lot recently,
I was in a conversation with some friends, both younger than me, and something came
up where we brought up what we were doing ten years ago. Ten years ago was when
I was going through my separation from my ex husband and I had just begun working
part time at the place of my current employment.
I mentioned about where I myself was at that moment in time
to them and my friend said, “You’ve already lived two lives”. I just looked at
her and I did not say anything, for some reason this comment sat with me for
quite a few days. I kept replaying it in my head, I mean have I basically lived
two lives? It really made me start to contemplate this ideology. I wasn’t the
same person that I was 10 years prior, and my life is completely different now.
I have almost all new friends, a different job and live in an entirely new
state, but did that mean that I was living an entirely new life? Was I really a
completely new person with no glimpse of the old me in there? There are moments
that I think about me, 10 years prior, and I’d love to shake her and ask what
in the world was she thinking?!?!
At the same time there are moments that I’d love to hug her,
hold her and tell her that everything is going to be fine and it will all turn
into so much more than what it is now. Had that meek, quiet, trusting young
woman not gone through all the trials, tribulations, hurt and rebuilding would
I still be the strong, independent, adventurous, quirky woman that I am now?
Maybe I needed to go
through this rebirth of sorts to become the me that I am now, the person that
loves to explore the world and is not scared to just put herself out there, and
now even more so than ever. This person that I thought of had never even
traveled solo at that point, I don’t even think that I can bring myself to
having that sort of mentality ever again, but at the same time that young woman
was very trusting and had a hard time believing that people could ever hurt her
and that trusting person, I still see glimpses of her. I still feel that tinge
of believing that you can trust in other people and that vulnerable urge to
allow myself to, that part of her I hold on to and hope to never lose.
Have I lived another life, quite possibly, or maybe I have
just evolved, grown and pushed myself to create a better version of the me that
was always there before? I still have her memories and wants and needs, they
are just clearer now, and I am more in tune with making sure that they are met.
The funny thing will be looking back now in another 10 years
and I wonder if I will feel as though I am on my third life, or will I have the
mentality of the one life that has just been continuously evolving and growing through
the years? I am uncertain now but will only just continue to keep striving to
live my best life, until next time: YOLO…maybe 😊
